Wednesday, 2 March 2011


So, although really i shouldnt work on this till tomorrow, i have been writing the music for TIe me up, tie me down. i wouldnt say it is at all spanish sounding. perhaps a little more like a creepy fairground. but what comes out comes out. Today, having been flooded with almodovar for a week, i think of LOVE.
As i was lying in bed this afternoon ( i like a nap, a bit like having 2 days in one), Almodovar confirms what i know to be the truth about love and passion. It takes courage. A life without either is worthless. And to be frank i believe love to be entirely different from comfort and security. a sense of normality. Perhaps it takes a different kind of courage to settle for this. Or is it cowardice?  i have been guilty of it myself in the past. Essentially - only true and fearless love makes us vulnerable enough to be hurt in such a way as to make us feel we have been emotionally disembowelled. and i understand why some would turn away from this possibility, and run into the arms of a more suitable, and comfortable space. me - i want it all, and you cant have one without the other.
 so - having shared that.
I am about to eat a large indian. meal, not person.
sleep well,
R x


  1. Great post Rachel, yeah, it does take courage, but doesn't that automatically happen when you're passionately in love with someone? I think passion and courage do dance together and the right mix usually renders the most success. By automatically, I mean, If you're passionate about someone, you've already thrown yourself emotionally at them, no? Hence the courage is engaged. It's a fine line.

    I don't think comfort and security is cowardice, it's more a result of circumstance, i.e. where you live, your job, your financial situation, that dictates the degree of priority. There is an element of "settling for this guy" that sneaks in for some, but on the other side, if you've been running for your life, comfort and security, would rank pretty high on your list.
    interesting topic.

  2. This is such a poignant post. Love is a risk that many people seem to avoid. I like to see it more as a calculated risk.

    And that's what life is all about. Calculated risks. It's weird that we really don't choose who we love. We just do.

  3. Oh Rachel, You are writing about the courage, the courage to be vulnerable and In Love. This is so current with me.
    And I have had that other, safer, "settled" married love, which ended after 26 years together. Its time was over.
    Now I am In Love and passionately brave about this current relationship. There is a sense, with my guy now, that we are strapping into a spaceship headed for a new planet. We have each chosen to be there, at this age it is definitely not a relationship that is going to be about marriage, kids, white fence. This is more of an adventure and unknown. We are strapping in to our spaceship, and we are alongside each other in this but it is still up to each one of us to go or not go.

    And we don't know what it will's the "I'm in!" feeling and with so many things unclear about the future, what we DO have is the present moment and the willingness and excitement to go on this adventure. I'm in it. My heart, his heart, we're in! And if we get to the other planet, we'll have our best friend and the person whose mind and heart and voice we most adore right there. (Of course my boyfriend told me, after saying he likes this metaphor, "NASA wouldn't send up two people in their fifties!")

  4. Bruce Springsteen’s “The Ghost of Tom Joad was inspired by Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Wrath.” If you watch the OLD black and white movie with Henry Fonda it’s almost like opening a storybook and flipping the pages. I don’t know if that was John Ford’s intent but that’s the way I saw it. The movie was far better than anything on Springsteen’s album, but I’ll give him an “E” for effort.

    Neil Young’s “After The Gold Rush” was supposedly based on a screenplay of the same title, but the only song even remotely connected other than “After The Gold Rush,” was “Cripple Creek Ferry.” Oh well, it will still go down in history as Neil Young’s best album.

    If I were to approach Pedro Almodovar, I would probably want to invite Steinbeck, Hemmingway, and Mark Twain along for the ride. Oh yeah, I can see it now. But not quite! If I were going to team-up these guys, for a tag-team wrestling match, I don’t know how I would do it?

    When it comes to AlmoDovar, take your time. No one has a gun to your head. Leonard Cohen has been known to take well over a year to finalize the lyrics (poem) for a song. First and foremost he is a lyricist, but he’s also wrote a handful of good tunes. First We Take Manhattan, and Your Naked Body come to mind. Take your time. (Memories)

    With Love,

    PS; I spelt “Robertson” wrong in my previous post. I forgot the “t” - you may or may not have noticed. FUCK, I hate when that happens. Some may see it as a typo, but I see it as disrespectful. (typo – disrespectful. Is that a near rhyme? It almost sounds it.)

  5. Rachel, oh yes, I whole heartedly agree, it takes courage. To give all your love, give it all, for why not? It's Love! Love is very special and cherished.And not always easily come by. Comfort comes easy, but why not "go for it"!!

    Me, I love naps. I love them, love them. Did I say that?

    Sleep Well Rachel, with your fullness of good food.
    It's been a full week already. :whew:

    rest. xo

  6. I agree with you. And Love there is many way to love. I wish we could take a nap at work. For naps are wonderful.
    I enjoy Indian food.

    sweet dreams



  7. "only true and fearless love makes us vulnerable enough to be hurt in such a way as to make us feel we have been emotionally disembowelled." Absolutely! Absolutely!!!

    And I will say, however, I want it all and therefore I completely avoid, no matter my heart has been scoured, indeed, oh...scoured, I won't go into the arms of safe mediocre. True fearless love is all I can feel. I feel I'm in the land of the walking dead, though. No sparks, no smiles, nothing. potato fucking salad, church?

    Give me liberty or give me death!

    I feel better now. thank you. I mean that.

    Your jumpsuit rather reminds me of another jumpsuit once ago worn (not purple!)....

  8. I agree, Rachel...I wish I could say more, but I can't. All I can say is "amen."


  9. verification was:

    I feel like a mutess cosmic!

  10. Timid trapeze artists are dead trapeze artists.

    Life is about taking a leap.

    Great post Rachel.

  11. I powerfully agree with you on this, Rachel.

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  13. From my own experiences, I've grown to see crazy behavior or instability as "bad" or destructive - unless it is used in the pursuit of art. I need to see there is a role and a "good" place for madness in love and in relationships. Life itself as the realization of an artistic vision of a mad hatter.

  14. I fear I'm nearly with Sue on this one.

    Great topic, R. Great and sad and miserable and wonderful and for some, over.


    Courage. The opposite of which is not cowardice but APATHY, I think. Where some of us find ourselves. With any hope, not forever.

  15. I wanted to say, too, that Burton has a good point. I too see art as the only thing that's left. The ultimate "reality", the ultimate TRUTH.